Do you often compose what you say to others simply because they might not like hearing what you really want to say? Do you have some people in your world, in your life, who will simply change everything you say in order to create drama, discontent or just pick a fight? Do you struggle to be able to be who you are and say exactly what you really want to say – without fearing another complaint or argument or accusations? Is there someone in your space who is really ‘IN YOUR FACE?’
Well, well, well. [don’t fall into that hole in the ground. That is his hole, not yours.] Step away from that person. Avoid contact. Do something alone or with people who can behave themselves instead.
If there is someone in your home or work space who is determined to create drama no matter how carefully you stand or tilt your head or hold your arms or craft the words you speak to them, they simply have to go. I now give you permission to completely ignore them.
You are not responsible for their world, which is their creation. You are not responsible if they want to argue or take things in a bad way or try to create a problem where there is none.
Here’s an example. My visitor is leaving tomorrow. We have had had extreme differences and I had to ask him to please go within a week. Tomorrow marks ‘a week.’ He is going. I am trying to have a last day or two of simple peace. No more conflicts or arguments. I have moved into my tipi the past five nights. He has the run of the whole house.
He: Do you want to go for a walk? I would like to go for a walk with you. That was fun yesterday.
Me: Can we go for a silent walk? (unsaid: ‘I don’t want to hear you talk about yourself, the cost of everything, or your judgement of others for another hour of beach walk. I just want to walk on the beautiful beach and hear the waves and the birds.’)
He: … all these conditions! We had a nice walk yesterday. I shared some things about myself. You want everything your way! You gave me a look! Hah! Humph! (raised voice, dramatic gestures, accusations, untruths) I’m going to the beach.
Me: Good. That is fine with me.
What could possibly be the point of saying what I think? I have said a lot of what I think, and this does not solve the problem.
Am I being myself? Possibly not. I don’t want to be mean or unsympathetic. I want to be compassionate and kind. I also am at a loss to be able to speak to this person without constant misinterpretation, accusation, drama. So, I am trying to just be myself, not cater to his requirement for drama and dissatisfaction, and not enter into another conflicted argument which cannot be solved.
I still feel that I will be able to breathe more deeply and be ‘myself’ again after he has left. Does this mean I am not being true to myself? Not at all. I am just being the most ‘me’ I can be in the circumstances without creating more negativity in my home environment. This is me.
Blessed be the peacemakers, for they shall inherit the earth.
I wish peace and satisfaction to the dissatisfied one – truly I do.